Five great questions of life: Life * Love * Learning * Labor * Leadership
What Does a Passionate Guy Do with Singleness?By Evan Nehring
I was twenty-four on a chilly October night. Twenty-four and alone is a tough combination, but I didn’t want to settle for a ho-hum relationship. I just plain didn't want to settle. I decided on a new way to focus my affections on God.
I went to the Copps grocery store on Division Street in Stevens Point and purchased a rose, for God, as a promise that I would remain both passionate and pure. There was a tinge of nervousness going through the checkout lane. "Good thing no one will ever know about this."
On my way home, the first snow of the season began to fall. The snow flakes were huge, that hanging-in-the-air kind, and I sensed that it was a gift from heaven. And with these gifts we exchanged, we created a new covenant. New covenants, as you know, always call for homemade poetry.
The RoseOn this night falls a pure, white snowHeaven’s dreamy giftCool, moist tenderness touches my cheekSoul strings danceAs newness and life are breathed into love’s pledgeAs if for the first timePassion glows: gentle, indomitable withinAn intimate, godly affectionGiven shape by the gentle descent of the snowflakeAnd the scarlet fragrance of the rose
When first snow comes, I go to the store and purchase a single red rose for my wife and for Jesus. It’s not a game. I’m not trying to be a sap. OK, I'm a sap, but I have to work harder at it lately.
It was a beautiful rose this year, and a tight hug with Colleen. She knows.
Singleness is not about breaking all the rules and settling down later. Singleness is about being who we are and becoming who we will be. It’s finding a place to make a difference as we grow and become. It’s being a youth leader, a worship team member, a big brother or big sister.
There may never be another season where you can be as focused and disciplined. This is a time of accomplishment. What do you want to be?! Where do you want to go?! Looking for the dream lover works best when you’re becoming the dream lover.
In a sense, you can rearrange the big questions of life. The pattern you choose might be: Life, Learning, Labor, Leadership, and Love. I think that’s one of the most intriguing and powerful patterns. If you can have the groundedness and personal security to rise as a leader and professional, you’re more likely to find a mate on the same trajectory.
Love doesn’t wait. Loneliness can be crushing. I know this, but that’s where “roses for Jesus” comes in. We’ll all face loneliness in different seasons of our lives. But Holy Spirit lives inside us and comes alongside as comforter and friend. God is a consuming fire. He can outburn our loneliness.
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