Five great questions of life: Life * Love * Learning * Labor * Leadership
Dating Abigail - A Different Destiny
By Evan Nehring
Abigail transferred in midway through my freshman year. Our dorms would do brother-sister floor get-togethers and competitions. Abigail was feisty, spirited, and unafraid to stand out in a crowd.
She spearheaded our rap tune for Battle of the Floors. I remember all the guys from 4-East and the gals from our sister floor getting ghettoed up for the trip down to the gym.
Our massive paper banner was painted graffiti on a brick wall. I think we won the event because we had an actual Puerto Rican ex-gang member from the Bronx on our side. Either that or Abigail’s rap.
They say it’s a battle, they say it’s a war
They say we’re gonna find out who’s the best floor
You think you’re a challenge, you think you’re so smooth
But we’re gonna find out who can really move
I hung the banner in my dorm room for the rest of the semester. Under Abigail’s name someone had written, “Sweet on a Canadian.” True that.
People do interesting things in college cafeterias. I was sitting with Abigail and her friends one day when she realized she needed something back in the food line. I offered to get it and as I was leaving the table, she called out, “Run quick like a bunny!”
I may be the worst person on earth, but I knew at that very moment that we were done. Shallow? I don’t know, there was just a style thing that wasn’t connecting. For all of her wonderful traits, maybe I felt like I was dating my mom.
What Was I Becoming?Breaking up with Abigail was one of the hardest things I did at North Central. I wrote her another one of my cheesy poems, which I can’t paste in here because it’s an acrostic of her name. I still know it by heart. It talked about “evaporations of a smooth flowing romance that had to cease to allow further solidification.”
I think what my heart was telling me was that what I was becoming while I was with Abigail was not what I would allow myself to become.
It was not my destiny.
For everything you do as you date, ask yourself the basic question, Would I want someone doing this to me?
Remember, God’s ultimate standard comes down to this: Love God and love others.
- Would I want someone flirting with me constantly, but never pursuing anything further?
- Would I want someone playing “hard to get” or acting as if he or she could care less whether I called?
- Would I want someone pressuring me into an impure physical relationship or pushing my boundary lines?
- Would I want someone to break my heart?
 Jeramy Clark. I Gave Dating a Chance (Colorado Springs, CO: Waterbrook, 2000), 34.
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